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PSA: People who make dad jokes and/or puns need to be put in front of a firing squad.

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    PSA: People who make dad jokes and/or puns need to be put in front of a firing squad.

    That is all.

    #2
    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
    Originally posted by Oneiros
    In that case, I’m the biggest faggot on the block.

    Comment


      #3
      About to be a thread full of terrible puns. Fuck it let Kratos in.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j5Frq4gbHY

      Comment


        #4
        Someone is bitter and doesn't want any fun in life.
        Puns make this world turn.
        Please Like, Share, & Subscribe to Culpa's Youtube Channel!
        Culpa's Twitch Channel!
        PSN Username- NikolaCulpa Trophy Level: 23. Platinums: 64 Currently Playing: Steep, Overwatch, etc.

        Comment


          #5
          I agree but I also feel it's a necessary evil.
          Originally posted by Kajin_Style
          Quiet cathartic really.

          Comment


            #6
            1. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
            2. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
            3. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
            4. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.
            5. I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
            6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
            7. How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.
            8. Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
            9. What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
            10. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
            11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
            12. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
            13. Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
            14. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
            15. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
            16. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
            17. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
            18. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
            19. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
            20. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
            21. Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
            22. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
            23. Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
            24. 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
            25. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
            26. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
            27. What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
            28. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
            29. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
            30. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
            31. I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
            32. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
            33. I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
            34. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
            35. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
            36. A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
            37. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
            38. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
            39. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
            40. People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

            Copypasta from google
            Please Like, Share, & Subscribe to Culpa's Youtube Channel!
            Culpa's Twitch Channel!
            PSN Username- NikolaCulpa Trophy Level: 23. Platinums: 64 Currently Playing: Steep, Overwatch, etc.

            Comment


              #7
              How do you throw a space party? You planet.

              How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

              The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

              A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

              A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."

              Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

              What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

              The broom swept the nation away.

              I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

              What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.

              What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

              I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

              Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

              Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”

              Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.

              Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

              What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

              Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

              What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

              What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

              What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

              A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

              After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

              I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

              To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

              I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.

              I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.

              What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.

              What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.

              How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

              The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.

              What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.

              What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.

              The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.

              Sausage puns are the wurst.

              What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

              How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.

              Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.

              What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.

              What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.

              Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.

              What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

              What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.

              Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.

              Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.

              Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.

              What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.

              What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.

              What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.

              Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

              What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

              What do you call a spanish pig? Porque.

              What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.

              Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.

              A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served first because he was a head.

              How do trees access the internet? They log on.

              Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.

              Comment


                #8
                Morph's father never hugged him.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Ziku View Post
                  Morph's father never hugged him.
                  Huh, that explains why Morph is so obsessed with being straight to the point he comes across as a massive faggot. His dad probably told him hugs were gay or some shit.
                  Originally posted by Oneiros
                  In that case, I’m the biggest faggot on the block.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Cid

                    There are bans to be handed out here.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Look what you've done, Morph.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        What does it look like when Oneiros throws a party?
                        [img]
                        (Just waiting for another set)

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Phobetor View Post
                          Cid

                          There are bans to be handed out here.
                          Aww don't be like that, you know you wanna join in on the pun.
                          Last edited by lightbuster30; May 13th, 2018, 06:30 PM.


                          ^^Basically the whole fight

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Culpa the Moth Mage View Post
                            Someone is bitter and doesn't want any fun in life.
                            Puns make this world turn.
                            Actually gravity and Earth's axis make the world turn

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I despise each and every one of you with the burning intensity of 1,000,000 blue giants.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Originally posted by Oneiros View Post
                                I despise each and every one of you with the burning intensity of 1,000,000 blue giants.
                                We love you too.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Mae Borowski View Post

                                  Actually gravity and Earth's axis make the world turn
                                  But what do you think powers gravity? Puns.
                                  Both will floor you.
                                  Please Like, Share, & Subscribe to Culpa's Youtube Channel!
                                  Culpa's Twitch Channel!
                                  PSN Username- NikolaCulpa Trophy Level: 23. Platinums: 64 Currently Playing: Steep, Overwatch, etc.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Culpa the Moth Mage View Post

                                    But what do you think powers gravity? Puns.
                                    Both will floor you.
                                    Gravity isn't powered by anything, it's consequently caused by the curvature in spacetime due to unequal distribution of mass

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by Mae Borowski View Post

                                      Gravity isn't powered by anything, it's consequently caused by the curvature in spacetime due to unequal distribution of mass
                                      That's what they want you to think. The laws of physics are actually tied quite closely to humanity's sense of humor. Puns and dad jokes power Gravity, light is actually caused by slapstick, and the atmosphere is made up of pure impression.
                                      Please Like, Share, & Subscribe to Culpa's Youtube Channel!
                                      Culpa's Twitch Channel!
                                      PSN Username- NikolaCulpa Trophy Level: 23. Platinums: 64 Currently Playing: Steep, Overwatch, etc.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Culpa the Moth Mage View Post

                                        That's what they want you to think. The laws of physics are actually tied quite closely to humanity's sense of humor. Puns and dad jokes power Gravity, light is actually caused by slapstick, and the atmosphere is made up of pure impression.
                                        What about irony and sexual innuendo?

                                        Comment

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