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    Originally posted by Cid View Post

    I know this feeling quite well, actually. Been searching for a job since I got my degree last August and have struggled to find one that pays decently. But somehow, despite having basically nothing to do 4 days a week, I still don't have time to do much else than post here a few times per day. How does it even work? lol
    ngl had a few weekends like that too lol. I kno exactly what it is that takes up my time tho - on the weekends, I typically look around the house and see if anythings amiss. if there is, like theres a leaky faucet etc either I fix it or I deal with the dude who fixes it. Then I either do Medley things or watch anime - whichever one i do typically means I'm neglecting the other for that weekend.

    might be a good idea to make a schedule for my "off"-days, setting deadlines helped increase my creativity exponentially.....

    Comment


      Originally posted by Helly View Post

      ngl had a few weekends like that too lol. I kno exactly what it is that takes up my time tho - on the weekends, I typically look around the house and see if anythings amiss. if there is, like theres a leaky faucet etc either I fix it or I deal with the dude who fixes it. Then I either do Medley things or watch anime - whichever one i do typically means I'm neglecting the other for that weekend.

      might be a good idea to make a schedule for my "off"-days, setting deadlines helped increase my creativity exponentially.....
      I think with me, it's that the things I do end up doing turn into some relatively time consuming tasks because of how meticulous I am. Sat down a couple days ago to throw some movies I had bought onto my movie shelf... And ended up realizing that the ones on the shelf were out of order... So I took every movie off the shelf (hundreds of them) and sorted them alphabetically. Took a couple hours to get through it all. >_>

      Comment


        My days fly by because I have the worst work schedule ever. I feel like I can't do anything before or after the shifts I have in the middle of the day, even when they're only three hours. So if I work six days a week at one place, then my other job takes the free days + throws in extra hours between shifts just in case I could feel like doing anything productive.

        Then of course there's smash bros and kingdom hearts. I have a legit addiction at this point.

        Comment


          Originally posted by OrganizationXV View Post
          My days fly by because I have the worst work schedule ever. I feel like I can't do anything before or after the shifts I have in the middle of the day, even when they're only three hours. So if I work six days a week at one place, then my other job takes the free days + throws in extra hours between shifts just in case I could feel like doing anything productive.

          Then of course there's smash bros and kingdom hearts. I have a legit addiction at this point.
          I see.
          Hm.
          Would it help you, if you jotted down the remaining time that you have for each shift that you have throughout the day?
          I've heard that it helps keep your sense of time grounded unto concrete terms- how much time remains before X is accomplished/finished.

          Is that so?
          I'll be making sure to be praying for you to recover from your addiction, and I hope that your situation improves from hereon.
          As for advice that I can give, I would suggest that you pick a more artistic hobby like taking picture of flowers to move yourself away from such activities that may be detrimental to your health/life, which is an activity that I take from time-to-time!
          I truly wish I could do more for you, so if you have anything that may be plaguing your thoughts or heart/soul, then feel free to open yourself and have a heart-to-heart conversation with me, Org.
          I'd gladly listen to your problems and offer any advice or suggestion that very well may improve your disposition and perspective on the circumstances that you're in.

          Have a wonderful and blessed day, Org. ^_^

          Comment


            Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post

            I see.
            Hm.
            Would it help you, if you jotted down the remaining time that you have for each shift that you have throughout the day?
            I've heard that it helps keep your sense of time grounded unto concrete terms- how much time remains before X is accomplished/finished.

            Is that so?
            I'll be making sure to be praying for you to recover from your addiction, and I hope that your situation improves from hereon.
            As for advice that I can give, I would suggest that you pick a more artistic hobby like taking picture of flowers to move yourself away from such activities that may be detrimental to your health/life, which is an activity that I take from time-to-time!
            I truly wish I could do more for you, so if you have anything that may be plaguing your thoughts or heart/soul, then feel free to open yourself and have a heart-to-heart conversation with me, Org.
            I'd gladly listen to your problems and offer any advice or suggestion that very well may improve your disposition and perspective on the circumstances that you're in.

            Have a wonderful and blessed day, Org. ^_^
            AWQSDGVDSGBBYRD

            MANA

            ARE YOU OK

            WHERE HAVE U BEEN

            IS THAT REALLY YOU?!?!?! D:<

            Comment


              Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post

              I see.
              Hm.
              Would it help you, if you jotted down the remaining time that you have for each shift that you have throughout the day?
              I've heard that it helps keep your sense of time grounded unto concrete terms- how much time remains before X is accomplished/finished.

              Is that so?
              I'll be making sure to be praying for you to recover from your addiction, and I hope that your situation improves from hereon.
              As for advice that I can give, I would suggest that you pick a more artistic hobby like taking picture of flowers to move yourself away from such activities that may be detrimental to your health/life, which is an activity that I take from time-to-time!
              I truly wish I could do more for you, so if you have anything that may be plaguing your thoughts or heart/soul, then feel free to open yourself and have a heart-to-heart conversation with me, Org.
              I'd gladly listen to your problems and offer any advice or suggestion that very well may improve your disposition and perspective on the circumstances that you're in.

              Have a wonderful and blessed day, Org. ^_^
              ...huh, yeah. That might be a good way to shift my view of time, and maybe then I'll be able to actually do stuff I wanted.

              And I do have at least some artistic aspirations- I very much enjoy both writing and drawing, when I get in the mood. So I have plenty of other things to fill the empty spaces with besides video games.

              (That's not to say that games are ruining my life, they're just easy to fill time with so I end up not getting to my other projects. The rest of me is fine)

              I hope you have a lovely day today as well, Mana. It's really nice to see you're back!

              Comment


                Helly Walt wanted you to know that he likes your blueface beat

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Max View Post
                  Helly Walt wanted you to know that he likes your blueface beat
                  e-eh? oh...!!

                  heh!

                  o-of course he does, I'm a master of my craft. its only natural that I'm praised, this doesnt make me happy at all....b-baka! >////<

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by Helly View Post

                    AWQSDGVDSGBBYRD

                    MANA

                    ARE YOU OK

                    WHERE HAVE U BEEN

                    IS THAT REALLY YOU?!?!?! D:<
                    I'm perfectly fine as always, my dutifully observant friend.

                    I've been nursing and being my grandfather's caregiver- due to his health issues back in late December of 2017, since the very moment of my absence from T5Forums till now.
                    My grandfather was in time of need, so I willingly offered myself to be his caregiver within my family as members of the family simply couldn't accommodate for my grandfather's particular health schedule.
                    Since I don't have a fiancé nor husband- let alone children of my own, I was the perfect person to be his caregiver.
                    I've devoted my entire being/heart/soul into being the perfect and ideal caregiver that I could be for my grandfather, so the only activities that I've participated in from that time- already including prioritizing my grandfather's necessities and health/happiness, have been work and getting groceries.
                    The rest of my days were devoted purely in feeding/cleaning after him/bathing him and changing his clothes for him/giving him his medication/attending to his sleep-waking time period, helping him walk, driving him to his appointments and everything else that he needed and asked for.
                    My moral and ethical duties-obligations as a human being and as a grand-daughter toward my grandfather- a member of my family, had to be prioritized above all else.
                    Family is sacred, and blood is thicker than any water, after all.
                    I'm just so happy that he's finally on his feet, and be strong enough to walk on his own two feet; I could just cry from the happiness I feel in my heart knowing that the Lord listened to my prayers and protected from afar.

                    Who else would it be, Helly?
                    I'm truly happy to see you.
                    How have you been; How has life treated you, my friend?
                    I've been praying for you and everyone else in this vast world, you know?
                    Day and night, I pray to the Lord to keep all of you in his secure arms and fill you with his benevolent love- since forever and will continue doing so forevermore. <3

                    Comment


                    • P408370R
                      P408370R commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I am glad to hear your grandfather has recovered well, fren! You are truly a generous soul. :}

                    • Mr.Sunshine
                      Mr.Sunshine commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Phobetor:
                      I thank and appreciate your kind words, Phob.
                      It truly puts a smile on my face!

                      Nonetheless, I truly don't deserve your praise as I acted purely on my moral and ethical duties-obligations as a human being to act for my grandfather's sake and health.
                      Regardless if such a virtuous value like generosity existed in my intentions to nurse him back to pristine health, the fact that I acted upon my principles/morals/ethics before such notion of generosity only serves to nullify the benevolence of such action.
                      I can only apologize for the misunderstanding that I created, and I hope that I've offered a succinct explanation of why I don't deserve your praise, Phob.

                    Originally posted by OrganizationXV View Post
                    ...huh, yeah. That might be a good way to shift my view of time, and maybe then I'll be able to actually do stuff I wanted.

                    And I do have at least some artistic aspirations- I very much enjoy both writing and drawing, when I get in the mood. So I have plenty of other things to fill the empty spaces with besides video games.

                    (That's not to say that games are ruining my life, they're just easy to fill time with so I end up not getting to my other projects. The rest of me is fine)

                    I hope you have a lovely day today as well, Mana. It's really nice to see you're back!
                    I know that you do, and its only fills my heart with even greater joy knowing that aspect of yourself hasn't changed from the time I last saw you.

                    Is that so?
                    Thank goodness!
                    I thought that you had fallen victim to the capricious nature of compulsivity.
                    Nonetheless, I will continue to pray that your work schedule lightens and allows to experience reprieve from floating days.

                    I appreciate your kind gesture, Org.
                    I'm just as elated to see everyone in high-spirits and that everyone is healthy and safe. <3
                    That lets me now that the Lord, Jesus Christ, listened to my prayers and kept everyone away from harm's way and sinister intentions, and that just makes me super-duper jubilant!

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Helly View Post

                      e-eh? oh...!!

                      heh!

                      o-of course he does, I'm a master of my craft. its only natural that I'm praised, this doesnt make me happy at all....b-baka! >////<
                      he might use the beat in his mixtape so stay tuned

                      Comment


                      • Helly
                        Helly commented
                        Editing a comment
                        eyy, let im kno to let me kno if he needs any more repetitions or whatevs

                      Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post

                      I'm perfectly fine as always, my dutifully observant friend.

                      I've been nursing and being my grandfather's caregiver- due to his health issues back in late December of 2017, since the very moment of my absence from T5Forums till now.
                      My grandfather was in time of need, so I willingly offered myself to be his caregiver within my family as members of the family simply couldn't accommodate for my grandfather's particular health schedule.
                      Since I don't have a fiancé nor husband- let alone children of my own, I was the perfect person to be his caregiver.
                      I've devoted my entire being/heart/soul into being the perfect and ideal caregiver that I could be for my grandfather, so the only activities that I've participated in from that time- already including prioritizing my grandfather's necessities and health/happiness, have been work and getting groceries.
                      The rest of my days were devoted purely in feeding/cleaning after him/bathing him and changing his clothes for him/giving him his medication/attending to his sleep-waking time period, helping him walk, driving him to his appointments and everything else that he needed and asked for.
                      My moral and ethical duties-obligations as a human being and as a grand-daughter toward my grandfather- a member of my family, had to be prioritized above all else.
                      Family is sacred, and blood is thicker than any water, after all.
                      I'm just so happy that he's finally on his feet, and be strong enough to walk on his own two feet; I could just cry from the happiness I feel in my heart knowing that the Lord listened to my prayers and protected from afar.

                      Who else would it be, Helly?
                      I'm truly happy to see you.
                      How have you been; How has life treated you, my friend?
                      I've been praying for you and everyone else in this vast world, you know?
                      Day and night, I pray to the Lord to keep all of you in his secure arms and fill you with his benevolent love- since forever and will continue doing so forevermore. <3
                      That is great to hear that he has improved. I wish you would have tipped us off before you left, though....smh, Mana, I asked everyone I could think of, no one had any idea what had happened to you. I am happy to see you are fine, though I've a mind to give you a noogie for the worry you've caused....!!!

                      News has not been so great on my end, I'm afraid. My mother passed on the 2nd of May, and my grandmother (on my father's side) followed shortly afterwards. Even after several months, it's difficult to describe the feeling it has left me with, except that it is completely horrible. I wish I could take refuge in the mantra of "at least they're not suffering anymore" - but to have something like that be a silver lining, for their final days to have been a hell that tore them from us like that, it just isn't something I can accept and move on with. They deserved better. I'll leave it at that for now.

                      Since the whole nightmare started, I had grown closer with my siblings, and now they are in my care. My mother left her bakery in my hands, and that has had many ups and downs just in these few months. I'd say that my cynicism has probably gotten worse, but I am more careful to give others the benefit of the doubt when I am able to - even though, sadly, I keep finding my optimism and trust woefully misplaced. It seems hypocrisy, duplicity, and laziness permeates through everyone around here, and it's making my approach to them increasingly heavy-handed. Perhaps I should just save my money and move us all as far away from this town as possible before I become an authoritarian....

                      On the plus side....the demand for higher and higher degrees of organization have helped my creative endeavors considerably, despite the fact that I have even less time to dedicate to them. I have a number of new threads in the music section, I think you might like a few of them :p

                      My sisters, and my music....these are the only two things in this world that bring me any amount of fulfillment any more. Everything else is just a gruelling chore I endure either to pass the time or to ensure that none of them ever want for anything.

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by Helly View Post

                        That is great to hear that he has improved. I wish you would have tipped us off before you left, though....smh, Mana, I asked everyone I could think of, no one had any idea what had happened to you. I am happy to see you are fine, though I've a mind to give you a noogie for the worry you've caused....!!!

                        News has not been so great on my end, I'm afraid. My mother passed on the 2nd of May, and my grandmother (on my father's side) followed shortly afterwards. Even after several months, it's difficult to describe the feeling it has left me with, except that it is completely horrible. I wish I could take refuge in the mantra of "at least they're not suffering anymore" - but to have something like that be a silver lining, for their final days to have been a hell that tore them from us like that, it just isn't something I can accept and move on with. They deserved better. I'll leave it at that for now.

                        Since the whole nightmare started, I had grown closer with my siblings, and now they are in my care. My mother left her bakery in my hands, and that has had many ups and downs just in these few months. I'd say that my cynicism has probably gotten worse, but I am more careful to give others the benefit of the doubt when I am able to - even though, sadly, I keep finding my optimism and trust woefully misplaced. It seems hypocrisy, duplicity, and laziness permeates through everyone around here, and it's making my approach to them increasingly heavy-handed. Perhaps I should just save my money and move us all as far away from this town as possible before I become an authoritarian....

                        On the plus side....the demand for higher and higher degrees of organization have helped my creative endeavors considerably, despite the fact that I have even less time to dedicate to them. I have a number of new threads in the music section, I think you might like a few of them :p

                        My sisters, and my music....these are the only two things in this world that bring me any amount of fulfillment any more. Everything else is just a gruelling chore I endure either to pass the time or to ensure that none of them ever want for anything.

                        I apologize for being unable to offer you a warning ahead of time as I received the news that my grandfather needed a caregiver from my family the day after the 10th of January- the day after I volunteered to be my grandfather's caregiver.
                        I can only apologize for my inexcusable and unforgivable lack of foresight, which led you to the actions that you took on that day!
                        However, please don't concern yourself any further over such vile and thoughtless thing that I am as I don't deserve anything- not even the kindness that you're showing me.
                        You should just prioritize your happiness and the moments that you spend with the people that you truly cherish.
                        That's all I could ever pray or ask for you or for anyone in my prayers for the Lord.

                        ..

                        I'm truly truly trully truly sorry.
                        I'm sorry fpr being so worthless and useless to you when you needed comfort and support
                        I truly am

                        I wish I could make everything right and be there for tyou and the words that you needed to hear

                        I know that you don't get it but I know that theyre happy and protecting you from where God lives.
                        I understand and know that they'r surely praying for you day and night.
                        You don't have to get what I'm saying or know how I know anything that Im telling you but I need you to know that even in painful times people smile eveb if it doesn't show

                        I'm sorry if that's all I could do for you, Helly.
                        I only know what I know
                        In other words, I can only speak from personal experience and what I've went through
                        I apologize if it doesn't do a single thing for you.

                        Whatever decision that you take, I can only pray that the Lord blesses your life with each and every day, with the strength to overcome any challenges that you may face.
                        May the Lod be with you and your family.

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by OrganizationXV View Post
                          ...huh, yeah. That might be a good way to shift my view of time, and maybe then I'll be able to actually do stuff I wanted.

                          And I do have at least some artistic aspirations- I very much enjoy both writing and drawing, when I get in the mood. So I have plenty of other things to fill the empty spaces with besides video games.

                          (That's not to say that games are ruining my life, they're just easy to fill time with so I end up not getting to my other projects. The rest of me is fine)

                          I hope you have a lovely day today as well, Mana. It's really nice to see you're back!
                          im just gonna chime in uninvited and say, an artistic hobby, or one that lets you express yourself is so important. Not even in a deep philosophical way too, just in a form of release and self-service.

                          Maybe I just feel strongly about it right now cuz I'm trying so hard (and failing) to motivate my girlfriend to take up drawing. She is really good at it and although she has drawn only twice in 5 years now it's actually super impressive. I've tried everything, bought her art books and stationary, bought her a Wacom intuos Pro because she showed some interest in digital painting and even took her to a few local art exhibits (the weeb kind cuz she is lol) but none of that is working and I'm really at my wit's end.

                          She works night shift so I get that she's tired and all, but it's almost come to a point of irritation at this point.

                          Comment


                            Today was a dream come true.
                            I managed to write all of my thoughts down and send them to a dear friend that was in need of a hug, and that's all I can ask for, at the end of the day.
                            Have a wonderful day-night, T5Forums.

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post
                              That's just silly, Phob.
                              An individual such as myself has no right to occupy such a tender and radiant center for him- let alone fathom the notion of being of such importance and worth to anyone; furthermore, such a thought ought to be placed on his family that love him just as much as he cherishes them.
                              I haven't done anything for him- anything that I could have possibly done for his health/happiness or sake vanished due to my absence, so its only laudable to even assume that I merit even a fading smile.
                              Regardless of it all, I'm just happy that he's alive, healthy, and happy, Phob.
                              The Lord has answered my daily prayers and kept everyone in his radiant light for yet another day- comforting and protecting everyone in my stead.
                              I could just burst into tears that everyone and everything is so perfect and beautiful- its just like a dream come true; The world just became that much brighter and beautiful knowing that everyone is alive and happy. <33333
                              Nevertheless, I make no apologies for my comment, dearest Mana.

                              I am as certain as your whimsical spirit in saying that Snap, like a Tootsie Roll, is sturdy (and thus stolid), smooth, tough on the outside, and soft and sweet on the inside. No doubt his pleasure at your return cannot be understated, except in his words with respect to his attempt at concealing the love he has for this beautiful Earth and every living thing in it.

                              I must also politely request that you refrain from unwarranted self-deprecation, for in you countless virtues are intrinsic and to be extolled.

                              Words cannot describe the joy of witnessing that everyone remains alive, and -- God willing -- well, indeed! <3

                              I'm overjoyed to know that you haven't changed a day since I last saw you, Phob.
                              I truly apologize for concerning you and anyone else that I've bothered due to my abrupt absence.
                              You shouldn't have bothered to feel any concern over my burdensome, worthless, insignificant self.
                              I'm not worth even the time of day, so you and everyone else should prioritize your health and happiness with the loved ones around you, Phob.
                              That and that alone holds all the significance and meaning in this entire world- that's all I could ask for anyone to do for themselves.
                              Your happiness means everything to me- the happiness of everyone around me means everything to me, so I can only ask you to not allow my wretched and parasitic self put a damper to your happiness.
                              Such a comment perturbs me through no fault of yours, alas. If only I could improve and evolve, and it is my desire that I do so; yet I fear that I have changed entirely for the worse, and it is my perennial regret.

                              You must not apologize, fren; you took it upon yourself to perform duties in a conscientious capacity for the sake of your dear grandfather, and family is most important!

                              You are correct in your conclusion that you are not worth the time of day; but that is because you are worth the time of century, and necessitate much more respect in accordance with your immaculate nature!

                              I would like to admonish you for your unjustifiable disapprobation of yourself, if I may be allowed to do so as your friend and acquaintance of many years. Your worth and significance is inherently inestimable, and illimitable in conjunction with the grace and compassion with which you conduct yourself; and friends are never a burden!

                              If your happiness is so derived, then you must allow that I would only be happy if you recognize yourself as a benefactor and the crème de la crème of virtue and cease to diminish your own character, for otherwise I could never maintain my joy. :}

                              As always!
                              I'm perfectly fine as always. ^_^
                              That delights me to no end, Mana!

                              The happiness of every single organism in this universe, and yours among the foremost as a paragon and dear friend, is my jouissance.

                              Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post
                              I thank and appreciate your kind words, Phob.
                              It truly puts a smile on my face!
                              In this respect, at least, my mission was accomplished. <3

                              Nonetheless, I truly don't deserve your praise as I acted purely on my moral and ethical duties-obligations as a human being to act for my grandfather's sake and health.
                              Regardless if such a virtuous value like generosity existed in my intentions to nurse him back to pristine health, the fact that I acted upon my principles/morals/ethics before such notion of generosity only serves to nullify the benevolence of such action.
                              I can only apologize for the misunderstanding that I created, and I hope that I've offered a succinct explanation of why I don't deserve your praise, Phob.
                              The ethics of the obligation and benevolence of the action reflect upon yourself, good Mana; that in turn supports what I have explicated above, with respect to your rectitude. I am overjoyed that your grandfather is doing well once more, and it is all thanks to you!

                              If you do of all people do not deserve my praise, which has no intrinsic worth but should serve as a model for the commendation of people better and greater than myself, who would?

                              "Listen, Bubbs: hear that? The sounds of the whispering winds of shit."
                              Rest in peace, John Dunsworth (1946-2017).

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Mr.Sunshine View Post
                                I apologize for being unable to offer you a warning ahead of time as I received the news that my grandfather needed a caregiver from my family the day after the 10th of January- the day after I volunteered to be my grandfather's caregiver.
                                I can only apologize for my inexcusable and unforgivable lack of foresight, which led you to the actions that you took on that day!
                                However, please don't concern yourself any further over such vile and thoughtless thing that I am as I don't deserve anything- not even the kindness that you're showing me.
                                You should just prioritize your happiness and the moments that you spend with the people that you truly cherish.
                                That's all I could ever pray or ask for you or for anyone in my prayers for the Lord.

                                ..

                                I'm truly truly trully truly sorry.
                                I'm sorry fpr being so worthless and useless to you when you needed comfort and support
                                I truly am

                                I wish I could make everything right and be there for tyou and the words that you needed to hear

                                I know that you don't get it but I know that theyre happy and protecting you from where God lives.
                                I understand and know that they'r surely praying for you day and night.
                                You don't have to get what I'm saying or know how I know anything that Im telling you but I need you to know that even in painful times people smile eveb if it doesn't show

                                I'm sorry if that's all I could do for you, Helly.
                                I only know what I know
                                In other words, I can only speak from personal experience and what I've went through
                                I apologize if it doesn't do a single thing for you.

                                Whatever decision that you take, I can only pray that the Lord blesses your life with each and every day, with the strength to overcome any challenges that you may face.
                                May the Lod be with you and your family.
                                ....Don't apologize, friendo >_> It's fine, everything's fine. I'm Helly, mate. Was just airing out some grief and a few frustrations, the worst is over with and I was barely online in those days anyway, plus I had plenty of support from friends and family, and many kind strangers. If you had neglected your grandfather even for a second just to tend to me, I would not have been okay with it at all, not when I had been responding to my mother's every breath myself. I'm just happy to see you are well

                                Comment


                                • Mr.Sunshine
                                  Mr.Sunshine commented
                                  Editing a comment
                                  Even then, I must apologize and then I must do everything in my power to help you.
                                  That's just I have to do.
                                  Those are my duties-obligations as a human being- since forever and forevermore.

                                feelios when, after a long week of work, you go grocery shoppin for 5 kids and STILL make it back with enough stack$$$ to buy urself a new headset....

                                oml....


                                #fulfilment

                                #grownshit

                                #thepromisechild

                                #first-born

                                #GOD-Helly

                                Comment


                                  That feeling when you're too poor for car repairs and insurance so you get sick walking across town to work so you can pay for all your other bills

                                  Comment


                                  • OrganizationXV
                                    OrganizationXV commented
                                    Editing a comment
                                    Oh, and it's Minnesota so it's cold af.

                                  Originally posted by P408370R View Post
                                  Nevertheless, I make no apologies for my comment, dearest Mana.
                                  I am as certain as your whimsical spirit in saying that Snap, like a Tootsie Roll, is sturdy (and thus stolid), smooth, tough on the outside, and soft and sweet on the inside. No doubt his pleasure at your return cannot be understated, except in his words with respect to his attempt at concealing the love he has for this beautiful Earth and every living thing in it.
                                  I must also politely request that you refrain from unwarranted self-deprecation, for in you countless virtues are intrinsic and to be extolled.
                                  Words cannot describe the joy of witnessing that everyone remains alive, and -- God willing -- well, indeed! <3
                                  Don't fret, Phob.
                                  There's no necessity to apologize for anything as you haven't done anything wrong.
                                  Without a doubt- you haven't stated anything warranting an apology, so rest assured that your comment shall remain as it began and ended.
                                  Quite observant; however, I, personally, rather imagine Snap being a fluffy, plush teddy-bear that hands out pretzels and napkins, to be perfectly honest.
                                  I cannot question his happiness for I am just as elated to be reunited with my dearly-beloved friend; however, I simply cannot disregard the logical reasoning that was reached to achieve such happiness.
                                  I've been absent for such an extended period of time- a period of time where Snap undoubtedly encountered and surpassed hurdles or tribulations, so why would Snap offer me any undeserved adulation or kindness when I demonstrably exhibited the inability to be of any use/worth/significance/meaning to any of the hindrances that very well may have plagued him during that period of time?
                                  If anything, I've only merited apathy for my pitiful ability to be of any worth to him and his happiness.
                                  Such encompassing pleasure of happiness that Snap experienced should have been given to the people that have proven to him the merit of their existence - they surely assisted and supported him during and throughout the entirety of my absence, so its only naturally that they should be enshrined even higher in his heart than I ever was- could ever be, as I don't deserve to be placed anywhere within or outside of Snap due to my inability to be of an meaning or worth to him and his happiness-sake.
                                  Hopefully, such is the case, Phob.
                                  It would sadden me if Snap abhorred any part of this world- the very world that I cherish and wholeheartedly love with all of my existence-being.
                                  You're under a misconception, my dear friend.
                                  I have never once deprecated my person as I am only expressing apparent and self-evident truths regarding my being- that are structured and prefaced by personal (in)actions of mine that only serve to delineate the inherent state of my existence, Phob.
                                  For reference's sake, even if a vile denizen from Hell- a fallen creature posed as a snake, were to be blessed with unimaginable googolplex of intrinsic virtues it wouldn't change the fact that its a fallen creature whose figure and wings have been severed and disintegrated in the open flames of Hell.
                                  Even if a vile denizen from Hell- a fallen creature posed as a cat, were to be as benevolent as a saint it wouldn't mean a single thing as its wouldn't alter the fact that of its reprehensible nature.
                                  Even if a vile denizen from Hell- a fallen creature posed as a spider, were to be as forgiving and willing to forget transgression against itself akin to Christ it wouldn't matter as its thoughts spiral hideously for naught.
                                  In short words, it doesn't mean a single thing that I am to be such a devoted paragon of virtue nor saint- nor to be elevated into a pedestal, for my inherent twisted nature and thoughts prevent me from attaining the purity of being that must be exalted and praised.
                                  I'm simply unfit to be anything that possesses such purity for I am grotesquely twisted by nature.
                                  Thusly, I cannot allow you or anyone praise or evaluate me as such as that would only serve as an insult to the people whose purity of mind-spirit-soul merit such praise.
                                  Words are simply not enough, Phob.
                                  Boundless yet with an all-encompassing form; just sublime in all of its entirety. <3


                                  Originally posted by P408370R View Post
                                  Such a comment perturbs me through no fault of yours, alas. If only I could improve and evolve, and it is my desire that I do so; yet I fear that I have changed entirely for the worse, and it is my perennial regret.
                                  You must not apologize, fren; you took it upon yourself to perform duties in a conscientious capacity for the sake of your dear grandfather, and family is most important!
                                  You are correct in your conclusion that you are not worth the time of day; but that is because you are worth the time of century, and necessitate much more respect in accordance with your immaculate nature!
                                  I would like to admonish you for your unjustifiable disapprobation of yourself, if I may be allowed to do so as your friend and acquaintance of many years. Your worth and significance is inherently inestimable, and illimitable in conjunction with the grace and compassion with which you conduct yourself; and friends are never a burden!
                                  If your happiness is so derived, then you must allow that I would only be happy if you recognize yourself as a benefactor and the crème de la crème of virtue and cease to diminish your own character, for otherwise I could never maintain my joy. :}
                                  Is that so?
                                  If such is the case, then I merrily support your endeavors to rectify your mistakes and walk your envisioned path, Phob.
                                  Even then, I simply must apologize.
                                  Even when I know that family that family is absolutely sacred, I must apologize for having been unable to do a single thing for anyone that very well may have necessitated assistance of their own.
                                  It can't be helped; That's just how I am, how I've always been and will always be.
                                  I cannot help myself from thinking and striving to help whoever may necessitate a hand to support themselves off the barren ground, so knowing that I was unable to accomplish such a task is deserving of a sincere apology from my part.
                                  It comes natural to be, so there isn't an Off-On Button installed in my body that allows me to stop from such will to help the people around me- whether I know them or not.
                                  That's just how it is, Phob.
                                  Its utterly out of my conscious control, so I must apologize for being useless to the very end.
                                  That's part of my duties-obligations as a human being that just want to help other human beings, after all.
                                  There's no necessity to appraise me to such a height, Phob.
                                  I'm just a simple person that wants to make people happy in the image of our bright sun in our hearts.
                                  There exists no particular aspect of myself that is of such pedigree that warrants anyone to spend such vast amounts of time just to emulate my person.
                                  Such a position would be exclusive to invaluable individuals within our lives such as particular or whole components of a family, if not the families that we create with our intimate relationships that are formed routinely in marriage.
                                  Observing it objectively, the likelihood that an individual is being deceptive toward the object-being that they inexhaustibly praise/elevate is extremely high.
                                  Vinicius and his ilk are the perfect example of such observations.
                                  It truly didn't matter just how much Vinicius praised or exalted my being as it turned out to be nothing but lies on his behalf- everything concerning his morals-principles-beliefs were nothing but lies that only served to be his front, and even that was just occulted even more lies on his behalf.
                                  Deceptions underneath even more deceptions- that's all it was, at the end of the day.
                                  The words that Vinicius purported to love were nothing short of just lies as his (in)actions betrayed and robbed them of any worth-meaning- let alone significance or purpose.
                                  Even if you were to observe someone unlike Vinicius, you'd likely end up with an individual that's mistakenly confusing curiosity with appreciation.
                                  That's just how its always been, Phob.
                                  Little has changed within people that assert and praise one thing, then repeatedly and endless betray and deceive others through their (in)actions.
                                  If you judge that I am deserving to be admonished, then I will allow it.
                                  Have you perhaps forgotten the entry concerning Zelda in Stephen King's Pet Sematery, Phob?
                                  After a kind and saintly girl was struck with spinal meningitis- debilitating condition that reduced her to shriek and horrors, her entire family including her younger sister began harboring resentment and disgust toward her for a disability that was beyond her control.
                                  Entirely useless and a living burden to her family and the world around her for her mind twists horrifyingly into spirals- even if our circumstances greatly differ, she's a kindred spirit of mine.
                                  Almost like a mirror, Phob.
                                  I'm certain that I am only a few inches away from becoming a Zelda- I would just need a slight push in that direction, and it would be all over.
                                  See?
                                  All of my grace and compassion would become worthless with a single push, and the very beautiful words that you offer me would become those of disgust and abandon- no different from Vinicius and those like him.
                                  That's just how it's always been. ^_^
                                  Is that so?
                                  Is that truly the condition of your happiness, Phob?
                                  Even after I thoroughly explained why I don't deserve nor merit such praise?


                                  Originally posted by P408370R View Post
                                  That delights me to no end, Mana!
                                  The happiness of every single organism in this universe, and yours among the foremost as a paragon and dear friend, is my jouissance.
                                  How perfect.
                                  If everyone were to have such love for the world, then we'd all be a step closer to expressing an intimate bond with all living creatures in this world.
                                  How sublime. <3


                                  Originally posted by P408370R View Post
                                  In this respect, at least, my mission was accomplished. <3
                                  For that, I thank you, Phob. ^_^


                                  Originally posted by P408370R View Post
                                  The ethics of the obligation and benevolence of the action reflect upon yourself, good Mana; that in turn supports what I have explicated above, with respect to your rectitude. I am overjoyed that your grandfather is doing well once more, and it is all thanks to you!
                                  If you do of all people do not deserve my praise, which has no intrinsic worth but should serve as a model for the commendation of people better and greater than myself, who would?
                                  Even then, I cannot allow you to praise me.
                                  I just cannot allow it- its impermissible, Phob.
                                  As long as my twisted nature remains within me- the impurity, then I will forever be unable to accept any of your praises.
                                  That's simple.
                                  A person whose purity is in mind-spirit-soul, and whose purity is etched upon their body.
                                  You cannot praise me as my twisted nature robs me of the quintessential purity necessary to be such a person.
                                  That's all that can ever be said on such matter.
                                  Nothing will ever change my position on it, so please don't bother yourself to challenge it as its utterly pointless.
                                  Last edited by Mr.Sunshine; February 10th, 2019, 04:10 PM. Reason: *Edit: Spacing Error*

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                                  • Mr.Sunshine
                                    Mr.Sunshine commented
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                                    Phobetor:
                                    I almost forgot one important phrase to impart on you.
                                    Smile and be happy, Phob.
                                    The best version of you will always be a Phob that smiles so brilliantly like the sun itself. ^_^
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