Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The year is 2020, Bethesda releases Elder Scrolls 6

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    The year is 2020, Bethesda releases Elder Scrolls 6

    Gaming """""journalists""""" pop the game in for their reviews. Creation Club content is advertised front and center on the start screen because somehow it didn't fail and die like it should have. The game once again runs on that long dead shambling zombie of a game engine they insist on using. Glitches every 10 feet. Quests are glitched into being incompleteable. Items are glitched and can't be picked up. The game is further "streamlined" from the last one. The player leaves a wake in a body of water before they even get close to it. Any build they make turns into a stealth build because that's the only thing that ends up being decent in that shitass 200 year old game engine. The dialogue options are "yes", "sarcastic yes", "no (yes)", and "more information". The game constantly crashes as it struggles to run at a framerate that never once reaches 30. After all this, they're ready to publish their reviews.

    "This will redefine the way we look at video games."
    -Game Informer

    "This game makes you really feel like Batman."
    -IGN

    "I liked it because it had gay romance options."
    -Jim Sterling

    "A timeless masterpiece. Proves that AAA gaming isn't dead."
    -Soylent Monthly

    "It's on the Nintendo Switch so it's great."
    -Gamexplain

    This will be what happens. I saw the future in a dream and you can't change my mind.
    Originally posted by Kajin_Style
    Quiet cathartic really.

    #2
    Hi, I'm Cid from 2021. This is all true. Also, they brought back the Mudcrab Merchant.

    Comment


      #3
      Pass, I'll just watch a synopsis on YouTube to see if Ulfric won or not in the cannon.

      Comment


      • Pocket Rocket
        Pocket Rocket commented
        Editing a comment
        I hope he did because I hate the Thalmor.

      #4
      Elder Scrolls VI: Skyrim II

      HD Edition
      Originally posted by Oneiros
      In that case, I’m the biggest faggot on the block.

      Comment


        #5
        More like 2023.

        BGS release a game every 3 years, and we know that at least 2 will be new IPs.

        Kinda insane that the next ES game will be a decade apart.

        Comment


          #6
          Originally posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
          Gaming """""journalists""""" pop the game in for their reviews. Creation Club content is advertised front and center on the start screen because somehow it didn't fail and die like it should have. The game once again runs on that long dead shambling zombie of a game engine they insist on using. Glitches every 10 feet. Quests are glitched into being incompleteable. Items are glitched and can't be picked up. The game is further "streamlined" from the last one. The player leaves a wake in a body of water before they even get close to it. Any build they make turns into a stealth build because that's the only thing that ends up being decent in that shitass 200 year old game engine. The dialogue options are "yes", "sarcastic yes", "no (yes)", and "more information". The game constantly crashes as it struggles to run at a framerate that never once reaches 30. After all this, they're ready to publish their reviews.

          "This will redefine the way we look at video games."
          -Game Informer

          "This game makes you really feel like Batman."
          -IGN

          "I liked it because it had gay romance options."
          -Jim Sterling

          "A timeless masterpiece. Proves that AAA gaming isn't dead."
          -Soylent Monthly

          "It's on the Nintendo Switch so it's great."
          -Gamexplain

          This will be what happens. I saw the future in a dream and you can't change my mind.
          Truly the darkest timeline.

          Comment


            #7
            You forgot the card game, the MMO and the re releases for the next half a decade after that..

            Comment


              #8
              Oh yeah I forgot you also get caught on the tiniest bits of uneven geometry.
              Originally posted by Kajin_Style
              Quiet cathartic really.

              Comment


                #9
                Aside from CDPR no one else can do the open world experience as good as Bethesda can.

                Comment


                  #10
                  Pocket Rocket there is a book in the Thalmor Embassy that says that Ulfric was one of their assets and they used him to weaken the Emprire.

                  Comment


                    #11
                    It must be true, that is 100% what Jim Sterling would say about a game.
                    Originally posted by Wade
                    It isn't date rape if God commands it, and he already commanded it.

                    Originally posted by Wade
                    I'm saying we actually don't know for certain that 1kg is 1kg.

                    Comment


                      #12
                      Originally posted by EnemyOfDaState View Post
                      Pocket Rocket there is a book in the Thalmor Embassy that says that Ulfric was one of their assets and they used him to weaken the Emprire.
                      To be fair though they were playing both sides to keep the war going so they could rule Tamriel. They had the Empire cucked and they needed the Stormcloaks around or else there's nothing to keep the Imperials distracted. Well except maybe the whole "dragons are gonna armageddon us all" thing.
                      Originally posted by Kajin_Style
                      Quiet cathartic really.

                      Comment


                        #13
                        Originally posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
                        To be fair though they were playing both sides to keep the war going so they could rule Tamriel. They had the Empire cucked and they needed the Stormcloaks around or else there's nothing to keep the Imperials distracted. Well except maybe the whole "dragons are gonna armageddon us all" thing.
                        Yeah they were playing both sides but Ulfric winning is probably best in the long run. The Nords under Nordic control and the Redguards could beat the Thalmor.

                        Comment


                          #14
                          Originally posted by EnemyOfDaState View Post

                          Yeah they were playing both sides but Ulfric winning is probably best in the long run. The Nords under Nordic control and the Redguards could beat the Thalmor.
                          Man if Bethesda sticks with that old game engine again and the next game is set in Hammerfell they won't be able to do it justice.
                          Originally posted by Kajin_Style
                          Quiet cathartic really.

                          Comment


                            #15
                            Originally posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
                            Man if Bethesda sticks with that old game engine again and the next game is set in Hammerfell they won't be able to do it justice.
                            If they are still using the old engine by the time PS5 and Xbone 2 are out then people should just skip the game. The shit is broken they released Skyrim like 5 times and every single version over the course of 7 years has been bugged.

                            Comment


                              #16
                              Originally posted by EnemyOfDaState View Post
                              If they are still using the old engine by the time PS5 and Xbone 2 are out then people should just skip the game. The shit is broken they released Skyrim like 5 times and every single version over the course of 7 years has been bugged.
                              Did the special edition even fix a single bug from the original versions? Wouldn't surprise me if they didn't lol.
                              Originally posted by Kajin_Style
                              Quiet cathartic really.

                              Comment


                                #17
                                Originally posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
                                Did the special edition even fix a single bug from the original versions? Wouldn't surprise me if they didn't lol.
                                They didn't, all of the exact same bugs are in the game. The sad part is the mods on PC that fix all the bugs already exist.
                                Last edited by EnemyOfDaState; May 26th, 2018, 01:42 AM.

                                Comment


                                  #18
                                  Originally posted by EnemyOfDaState View Post

                                  The didn't, all of the exact same bugs are in the game. The sad part is the mods on PC that fix all the bugs already exist.
                                  "Winner of over 200 Game of the Year Awards"
                                  Originally posted by Kajin_Style
                                  Quiet cathartic really.

                                  Comment


                                    #19
                                    Originally posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
                                    To be fair though they were playing both sides to keep the war going so they could rule Tamriel. They had the Empire cucked and they needed the Stormcloaks around or else there's nothing to keep the Imperials distracted. Well except maybe the whole "dragons are gonna armageddon us all" thing.
                                    So Elder Scrolls has an overarching story. Cool.
                                    Originally posted by Wade
                                    It isn't date rape if God commands it, and he already commanded it.

                                    Originally posted by Wade
                                    I'm saying we actually don't know for certain that 1kg is 1kg.

                                    Comment


                                      #20
                                      Originally posted by OrganizationXV View Post

                                      So Elder Scrolls has an overarching story. Cool.
                                      No but it has an overarching game engine.
                                      Originally posted by Kajin_Style
                                      Quiet cathartic really.

                                      Comment

                                      Working...
                                      X